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Episode Quotes

Buffy: The school basement is making him crazy. We can't just leave him there.
Xander: Why not? Crazy-Basement-Guy is better than Stalking-Buffy-Guy.

Buffy: I think that's the guy.
Willow: What guy?
Buffy: The one who, according to Dawn, is the quote smartest, funniest, coolest, hottest, and having the thickest boy eyelashes boy in school unquote.

Xander: Dawn? What's wrong? Is this... Did that guy in the jacket...?
Dawn: Uh! I don't even want to hear his name anymore!
Xander: I just called him "that guy in the jacket".
Dawn: That's what I used to call him in my head before I knew his real name!

Willow: But you don't even know him!
Anya: Yes, I do. I looked into him and saw his soul.
Willow: He was walking away, so unless his soul was in his ass...
Anya: A.J. is my best friend and my dearest darling...
Willow: It's R.J. And what you were picking up on was his deep caring and devotion to me.

Buffy: Willow, you're a gay woman--and he isn't.
Willow: This isn't about his physical presence. It's about his heart.
Anya: His physical presence has a penis!
Willow: I can work around it!

Willow: There's a simple answer to this. Just think about who loves him the most. Clearly I do, since I'm willing to look past the whole orientation thing.
Dawn: I need him.
Anya: Well, you're gonna have to do better than that...I'd kill for him.
Willow: You'd kill for a chocolate bar.
Buffy: No. Yes! Kill for him. I'm the slayer. Slayer means kill. Oh, I'll kill the principal.
Anya: Ooh, that is hard to top.
Willow: Yeah, well I have skills. I can prove my love with magic.
Anya: Yeah, right. What're you gonna do--use magic to make him into a girl? Damn.

Xander: That, my friends, is the smell of sweet, sweet, victory.
Anya: Also, burning cotton-poly blend.
Buffy: Xander, be honest. You didn't, you know, think about slipping that jacket on just a little bit?
Xander: I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it didn't fit.

--quotes taken from much ado about btvs